Descent into Diapers – Chapter Four
I am not sure how long I slept, to be honest, I was not even trying to sleep. I was just simply trying to take comfort in the situation at hand. One of my first customers at Red Tail Aviation got me into meditation. He told me, ‘Owning your own business is a stressful job, it is wise to learn to find peace in stressful situations.’ It was not the first time hearing about meditation, but what he said stuck with me. That is why when Jen refused to let me down, I just tried to make the best of it. Of course, her body was almost always warmer than mine, and with me pants less why not take advantage of my situation and curl up and her as my heater? I also wanted to close my eyes to help me focus on meditating.
The bam, one minute I am listening to Jen disclose my origin story all comfy curled up on her lap, next minute I wake up almost falling off the couch jolting me back awake. To be perfectly honest, it would not be the first time I fell off the couch while I was napping. It’s kind of funny, the first it happened Jen was in her office when she heard a thud and shortly after that a very prominent four-letter curse work started with an ‘F’ and ended with a ‘K’. This was also after the rule of no cursing was invoked.
After collecting my thoughts from yet another tumble off the couch, I sit up correctly rub the sleep out of my eyes and look around. It was still daylight outside, but that did not mean much. It was mid-summer, and the days were longer, perfect for road trips or working in the garage on my old 76 CJ7. I look over to the wall that has our clock hanging on it. The time read five thirty-two pm, close to dinner time. I was feeling a bit peckish due to skipping lunch. Dinner time was one thing that Jen loved control of in our house. It was the only meal that she could make sure I sat down to and ate. Lunch was always a hit or miss due to work and well, me getting distracted. Who needs food when you have coffee? Breakfast was always a struggle for me, though I have gotten used to at least attempting to grab a bite of something.
I sat on the couch chuckling at the memory of Jen yelling at me as I ran out the door trying to get to work. That fate full day started with me taking a single bite out of the bagel I toasted for myself. Once I realized that I was running late I just dropped my bagel and ran. She saw me drop my food and bolt, and she quickly chased after me. ‘A bit to eat is an idiom,’ she hollered as I headed for the door. ‘It’s not supposed to be taken literally,’ she finished as she made it to the front door, trying to chase me down. By the time she made it to the door, I was already in my blue sports car putting it in gear.
I also got in trouble the following night because of the whole ordeal. Jen had to go out of the state for work that same day I ran out of the house with only one bite taken out of my breakfast. Somehow, she found out that I did not eat anything else that day, the following breakfast, or lunch the next day. In my defense, I was going to eat that night, but I just got lost working on my Jeep. So, there I am lost in the garage again on night number two, nearly forgetting to eat when I see Alice pulled up carrying a mall brown bag and a huge scowl on her face. What happened next was scary at the time but looking back it’s kind of funny.
When I saw Alice walking up to the garage, I stopped what I was doing and started to wipe my hands clean when she walked right up to me, grabbed one of my hands, and proceeded to drag me into my own house through the garage door. She dragged me to the kitchen table and sat me in a chair first before putting her small brown bag on the table, at this moment I realized what was going on. Alice then proceeded to look me in the eyes with the same scowl on her face as she arrived and pointed her index finger straight at me. ‘You are going to sit here and not get up until I watch you eat everything,’ she howled. She then proceeded to pull out the biggest sub sandwich I had ever seen, a small bag of ships, and one apple.
As I said, I knew the moment she sat me in the kitchen of the misdeed I had done. Since I knew I was in trouble I might as well have a little fun. I looked down at the palms of my hands and saw they still had dirt on them. So, I simply looked up at Alice who was now sitting next to me fuming with anger, and showed her my hands and told her, ‘My hands are dirty.’ Let me tell you it was the best ‘worst’ decision I ever made, wordlessly got up grabbed a cloth from the counter, dampened it at the sink returned to the seat next to me, and proceeded to clean my hands for like a five-year-old. Once my hands were scrubbed with more vigor than needed, she sat the cloth on the table picked up the sub sandwich, and placed it in my hand, in my opinion, they were still dirty, but I was not about to tell her that. I know I am a small person, but that sub sandwich was massive in my tiny hands. Let me tell you she sat there for over an hour making sure I ate every bite. Once I was done, she left with the same grace as she came, without a word and anger spewing from her eyes.
The following day I came home from work and found a very upset Jennifer. She waited till I was fully in the door before she proceeded to scold me on my health and how eating is somehow important to my health. She proceeded to lay out my punishment for me, I was to write a 500-apology letter to Alice, and I found out the reason she was angry that day was because I caused her date with a hot guy to be rescheduled. Her date told her that their date could wait and that making sure her brother-in-law was doing ok was more important. The rest of my punishment consisted of supervised meals, at home I had to sit with Jen, and at work it was Alice, I could not get till they were satisfied. I was also not allowed to have sweets for a month, and boy did Alice rub that in my face.
Shaking the memory from my head I toss the small blanket that covered me to the side exposing my bare legs to the brisk air of the house and hop off the couch. I quietly make my way from the living room towards the kitchen, instead of veering to the left and going fully into the kitchen I instead turn right where the door to the office is. With the door cracked and the light on I had a strong hunch that I figured out where Jen was hiding. I push the door open ever so slightly to just poke my head in to catch Jen sitting at the computer.
The office is both ours but due to me operating mostly from my laptop and phone when I am not at work Jen has turned it into her personal home office. I honestly don’t mind; it has given me the ability to work from home often. With sharp senses, I notice Jen glancing at me smiling, and giving me a wink before going back to typing on her computer. With my element of surprise gone, I open the door the rest of the way make my way towards her, and ask, “Hey Jen.”
“Try again” Jennifer quickly states.
I rounded the desk to see her face better and to see what she had pulled up on the computer screen. I give a longing look of sorrow and ask her, “Can I really not call you Jen?”
Watching Jennifer quickly finish her email and hit send, closes her web browser, turns her attention to me and my visible diapered bottom, and asks, “Are we in public?”
I was not fond when she answered my questions with a question. She had the uncanny ability to make me feel smaller than I was, my current attire did not help the situation. Reminded of the answer I knew I looked down in defeat and said, “No”
Jennifer gently lifted my head, so I was looking at her. “If we are not in public, how are you to address me?” she asked softly.
I would not say I am submissive, I do have rather high confidence in myself, and I will stand up for myself or my wife against anyone, no matter how big they are trust me when I say everyone is bigger than me. There have been multiple times that Jen had to pull me back from a fight, when you are small you tend to learn to either run or fight. And my father did not raise me to run or back down. But I had one weakness, my wife. I do not know what it is about her, but her dominating presence and confidence make me weak at the knees. It’s a mystery to me because I know that Alice has the same demeanor, I seen it with my eye both at work and on the occasional double date. But with Alice, I can stand up to her and tease her like I would my brother, the fun thing is she teases me just as much.
Unable to look away I softly say, “I am to address you as Mommy.” With the correct answer, she gives me a peck on the lips and releases my face. Her gaze does not go far though, I look down and I follow suit to see what she is looking at.
As Jennifer releases my face, she reaches down to check my diaper and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Smart baby, and a little soggy I see. You are such a good boy,” she praised.
Jen always did her best to make sure that when I was up in the morning, she was not mad that I was wet. Just the opposite, she was always happy and proud of me for using my diapers. She did not want me to be ashamed of wetting the bed, she told me it’s just who you are and should be proud of yourself. There were many mornings in the beginning when she would show me that the bed was not wet and that it was only my diaper that was wet. To this day she will still praise me for my wet diapers, reminding me that I should not be ashamed of wetting them. I don’t know why I expected anything different from her now that diapers are now permanent in my everyday attire. Even after her gentle and kind praise I still felt it necessary to remind her that my wet diaper was not all my fault. “It’s Alice’s fault, she is the one who made me pee myself,” I informed her.
In a gentle mothering tone, she told me, her small charge, “Now it’s not nice to blame others for things they did not due. Also, your diaper was not this wet before your nap.”
“But it was her fault, she scared the. . .” I began as I saw her eyebrows raised listening intently to my choice of words. Cautiously I finished my statement, “Pee right out of me.”
“Good catch Mr.” she chided and went on to say “Alice did not mean to scare you, she and I talked about it, and she will be more careful next time. I want you to answer me this, what are diapers for?”
I knew she talked to Alice about me, I was conscious at least for part of it. It was the question at the end that had me perplexed. With uncertainty, I answered, “To potty in?”
“Close baby, they are for someone that is not yet potty trained.” She said, correcting me. She went on to ask another question, “And are you potty trained?”
Ah, now I see where this is going, but what did I say, nothing but questions to answer me with. “No, I am not potty trained,” I answered her with a huff after recalling the conversation that was had earlier today.
Jennifer smiled and again praised Charlie for yet another correct answer. “Very good, I am suppressed you can remember that, but you seem to be forgetting to call me what?” she said cleverly.
I got a feeling this was not the last time she was going to tease me about what I was to her. With a small smile and some fake enthusiasm, I tell her, “Mommy,” and move in and hug her.
Without missing a step Jen used the momentum of my spring-loaded hug to snatch me off the ground and on her lap with a soft squish. “See, I knew you know who I am” she mused. “And you are my little boy who is not yet potty trained. Since my baby boy is not potty trained how could your Aunty Alice ever make you tinkle in your cute little diapie,” she said in conclusion.
I slightly blushed when I felt my diaper squish as she sat me on her lap, I guess she was right, I think I was a little bit wetter than I was before I drifted off to sleep. Blasted bedwetting, well I guess I am not just a bed wetter now; I am not officially potty trained in the eyes of my Mommy. Sitting sideways in her lap, much like I was on the couch, I had my legs draped over one side of the office chair and Jen supporting my back. I watched her turn her attention from me to a stack of papers sitting on the desk.
Jennifer reached over to pull out two identical pieces of paper and pulled them close so I could read them. “Now look over here sweetie, I have updated our Rules and punishments. Let me read them to you, ok. When we are done, we will both initial by every rule and punishment and then sign at the bottom.”
I sat quietly trying my best to follow along with Jen, this kind of stuff always makes my mind wander. But I wanted to be good, so I told her, “Yes Mommy.”
Jennifer cleared her throat and started at the top of the “Momma Jen’s and Little Charlie’s Rules and Punishments, Rules include but are not limited to 1. Drink plenty of water; 2. No caffeine after Lunch; 3. Get at least six hours of rest; 4. Eat two solid meals a day at least (preferably three); 5. Ask for help if you need it, 5a. Especially reaching for stuff out of reach; 6. Do not climb on counters.”
Yup, all those are still the same. Most of them are from our very first agreement, all except Rule 6. Jen had to put that in there specifically due to me telling her that things would not be out of reach if I was on the counter. She was not too happy with me the first time she caught me on the countertop let alone the second time reaching yet again for the Oreos she likes to hide from me.
Jennifer took a breath and continued to read aloud, “7. Absolutely no cursing; 8 Jennifer has final approval on clothing worn by Charlie. . .”
The cursing rule is Mommy’s favorite to enforce, I am honestly surprised that I have not caught her doing it. Also, it is good to note that Mommy and I agreed that rules one through seven are rules we both follow. When she first introduced the idea of a list of rules for me to follow, I did not think it was fair for me to have them and not her. After a very long conversation, we came up with the first list of rules for both of us to follow, which is why both of us signed it. Oh, and that goes for punishments too, but she does not break the rules as much as I do. It’s not like I go out of my way too; I just find myself wanting an Oreo or going almost two days without eating because I get too busy to care.
“. . . 9. Charlie is considered NOT potty trained and will be kept in diapers, 9a. Yes, Charlie, this means the big boy potty is a no-no.” Jenifer stopped reading to look at Charlie and make sure he was paying attention. “Baby, are you listening? What was that last rule I just read?” she asked.
“The potty is a no-no,” I said dryly, not believing she would write the list. What did she think I was going to do, sneak off and use the potty? If I did that, she could get me on rules 5, 8, and 9 at least, probably more as she keeps reading. I am good. “Keep going Mommy,” I said to get back on track.
“Just making sure you are paying attention and not daydreaming,” she said before she continued reading the list. “10. Charlie is not allowed to change his diaper, 10a. Jennifer is ultimately in charge of Charlie’s Diapers.”
“One second Mommy,” I interrupted, “what I am by myself, can I change my diaper then?”
Jennifer simply said “No” and before Charlie could ask a follow-up question she explained, “At home you have me, at work you have Alice. Anywhere else I assure you; you will have someone there to help you with your needs.”
The thought swirled around my head only for a second before the words “That’s not fair” blurted out of my mouth. “You are essentially telling me I will have a babysitter when you are not with me? But . . .” flustered at trying not to alert out Jen’s name only a moment passed before I was able to continue, “Mommy that’s obscene, I am a grown man. What about not hindering me from work?” I firmly asked, needing to hear her explanation.
“I can see you are a little unsettled by this,” she replied, trying to keep the smile from showing. She thought it was cute seeing her little husband sitting on her lap in a wet diaper arguing that he was a grown man. It was not her intention to belittle him, but the situation was rather adorable.
Unsettled was not the word I would have used but I was not about to correct her. I Tully wanted to understand her reasoning, so I did not interrupt her trying to convince me that I needed a babysitter.
Jennifer kept on talking explaining her reasoning to my very sour face, “Yes, you will have an attendant with you to help you out with your diapers for when you need to be changed. Also, anyone that you are with who has agreed to help me with you is fully aware of any and all of our Rules. Since I cannot trust you to follow the rules, we both have agreed upon I feel it is necessary to make sure I have a babysitter to make sure my little Charlie is not getting into mischief.” Jen saw the shock on my face as she made her comment but continued still, “you may be an adult and my husband, but you are also my Little as I am your Mommy. You and I started this journey a while ago and both of us wanted to make each other happy let me tell you that you may not see the ‘little side’ in you, but I sure do all too well and a mommy knows when her little boy is not ready for adult privileges.”
I was shocked, I could not believe what she just said, “first I am too responsible, second, I do not have a ‘little’ side,” I said firmly as I used air quotes when I said the word little.
She simply smiled and raised her eyebrows in amusement, “I hope you hear yourself; I can recall multiple times when I had to get someone to help you remember to eat, go home and sleep or any one of the times I caught you eating sweets during the night. That proves to me that you are not responsible for respecting the rules you agreed on that were put in place for your health and wellbeing; and yes, you do have a ‘little’ side,” she said ending with air quotes on the word little to mimic me.
“I still don’t need a babysitter,” I said flatly. More importantly, she mentioned something that I need to reiterate, “third thing, you said that anyone that I am with has agreed to help you with me,” I repeated in confusion. I went on to ask, “Who else knows about our little dynamic? I thought it was just between us, our little secret?” I asked worriedly.
“You and I talked about this baby; you knew what I wanted. The both of us came up with a plan and compromises to make it all work for the best. This is a part of that. And outside of a select few people, it is our little secret, we just have friends that understand and want to be there for us,” she said softly with a sympathetic look.
With a huff I turned back to our list and with a flat tone of defeat I as her, “Please continue Mommy.”
Jen simply left me to my feelings as she continued, “11. Charlie will refer to Jennifer as Mommy or Momma, 11a. enforced heavily behind closed doors, 11b. First names are good in the public eye, just be respectful; 12. Charlie is allowed to work on his cars in the garage unless Jennifer says otherwise; 13. Charlie is allowed to drive alone if it’s communicated with Jennifer, 13a. If there is a backup plan this privilege can be taken away as punishment, 13b. Backup plans include but are not limited to driving by Jennifer, Alice, or an approved friend; 14. Charlie’s consumption of alcohol will be approved on a case-by-case basis, 14a. approval authority limited to Jennifer; 15. Rules outside of this list must be discussed and agreed upon before implementation.” Jennifer stopped to take a breath and asked me, as I sat in her lap quietly as a mouse, “That is all the rules, you ready for the Punishments?”
“That is a lot of rules, Mommy, how am I supposed to remember all of them? I can barely follow the list we had before this and it’s twice as long,” I said a bit sarcastically “The punishments look the same though, you don’t need to read them,” I said reaching for a writing utensil.
Jennifer grabbed my eager hand and said, “Not so fast baby, we need to read them allowed to make sure we both agree. When we are done with all this, I will post one on the fridge for us to look at and the other will go in the filing box,” she explained trying to ignore my unsettled mood. Clearing her throat and finishing reading the document, “Punishment includes but is not limited to 1. Time out for naughty behavior; 2. Writing lines or something similar, to learn a lesson; 3. Grounding (or taking things away), to appreciate what you have; 4. Supervised mealtime, to make sure you eat healthy; 5. Spankings, for severe rule breaking; 6. Ultimately the punishment must fit the crime; 7. Punishments outside of this list must be discussed and agreed upon before implementation.”
Once she finished, I quickly piped up and quickly spoke, “Yes, I agree. Can I sign?”
“Baby I know you are eager to get down, but are sure you understand all the rules? You mentioned there were a lot of them,” she asked repeating the concern I stated a moment ago.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and then looked at Jen and said, “Yes Mommy, the first half of the rules are the same. The second half is the new ones we mentioned before, the ones making me baby.” I did my best to smile but it was hard to form. I knew Jen was right, she always is. I am just too carefree and aloof, she does mean the best for me, and I cannot be upset at her for it. I still get my career, my hobbies, and most importantly her by my side. “I am sorry for freaking out before, it’s just I was not expecting this decent into diapers to be so steep.”
Jennifer hugged me tight and kissed me on the cheek while letting my hand go so, I could reach for the pen. After I signed, she followed suit and within that moment marked our written and signed agreement to our new contract.
I was still on her lap and was getting more anxious by the moment, she could tell. To break the tension she asked, “Are you hungry? I have dinner prepped, just needs to be cooked and put together?”
I nodded my head and scuttled off her lap, allowing her to get up and move towards the kitchen. Not wanting to be alone with my thoughts I followed her into the kitchen. I quickly went from being upset at the thought of being an actual little to being worried that I was too immature and not enough for my wife. As she was reaching the fridge I shakily asked, “Am I immature?”
The End of Descent into Diapers – Chapter Four.
If you want to read more stories about ABDL boys you can find a list here: Diaper Boys – Index