Descent into Diapers – Chapter Fourteen
No, this was not going to happen, there was no way I was getting into that thing. I quickly started to get in the passenger seat, but I felt Jen’s hands pulling me back. “Mommy, please, I don’t need a car seat,” I tried to plead, grabbing onto the front door of the passenger side of the SUV.
“Charlie please, it’s just till we get home, I promise it’s not a permanent thing,” I heard Jen say in a pleading voice.
I glanced back confused, “Why? I am a grown adult, and what made you give in to her?” I asked, referring to Jen’s mother.
“Baby, I know you’re an adult. Just let go of the door and we can talk about it on the way home,” Jen said softly, still with a firm grip on me. The only thing that made me let go was that I heard Isabella’s voice getting closer, and all I wanted to do was go home right now.
“Jennifer, do you need help putting him in?” I heard Isabella say before glancing in her direction, seeing that she was halfway from the front door to the SUV.
Jen wasted no time in shutting the front door and adjusting her hold on me so that she could place me in the car seat. I heard the back door open as I watched Isabella come up behind Jen, “I want to go home Mommy,” I whispered in Jen’s ear right before I felt myself getting placed in my new seat.
“Don’t worry, honey, we are,” Jen reassured me gently.
“Jennifer, make sure you adjust his straps right, you don’t want them loose or anything,” Isabella started to say, trying to instruct Jen.
Without looking back at her Jen just continued to buckle me in, “Mother, please, I know how a car seat works. Just give Charlie some space before he gets any fussier,” Jen said firmly, trying to get Isabella to back off.
From my limited view, largely because Jen was still over me pulling and adjusting the straps to fit me correctly, I did see Isabella step back but still went on to give her professional advice. “Did he not get a nap today? Where is his diaper bag, did you bring a binky?” Isabella nagged on.
Jen and I locked eyes for a second once we heard Isabella say that last part, I guess she knew that I was about to open my mouth again and start inserting my foot. “Shh, be my good boy,” she said firmly yet gently. I could see the irritation in her eyes, I was just hoping it was not me causing it. With the click of the buckle, I was finally in and properly adjusted safely trapped and snug. Jen kissed my forehead before praising me, “That’s my good boy,” and then shut my door. I watched Jen walk around to the driver’s seat, grabbing her purse and my diaper bag that was sitting on the hood of the SUV most likely put there before she came to wrangle me in my new seat. Jen quickly buckled up, started the engine, and put the transmission in reverse.
Jen glanced back at me before shifting back into drive, I hoped she could tell I was not a happy camper. “Please may I get out and sit upfront,” I said as politely as I could to hide my irritation and not want to be where I was. After not hearing a response right away I tried to sweeten the request with a loving, “Mommy!”
“Charlie, I know you are not happy with me, but let’s just get home and then I will get you out of your seat,” I tried to tell Charlie. To be honest he was not the only one that was upset at the situation. I adjusted my rearview mirror so I could see Charlie, the poor thing had his grumpy face on, arms crossed, and staring out the window. “You that conversation that my mom and I had before Alice pulled you away?” I asked, trying to start my explanation of his current predicament.
“Yeah,” I heard him say in a monotone voice.
I took a breath and calmly said, “That conversation did not go as well as I would have hoped.” After a glance, I saw that I had Charlie’s full attention, his eye searching for answers within my words. “What first started as you can’t tell me what to do, what Charlie and I have is between us and of no concern to you,” I started to say, nervous to say the rest.
“Yeah, I agree so far, she cannot tell us what to do,” Charlie said with a bit more confidence in his voice.
“Well, more or less my mother said that if I did not take care of her little Charlie then she was going to take matters into her own hands and protect her investment,” I said evenly, knowing it was going to provoke Charlie even more than what he already is. A few minutes passed and I still did not hear a word from Charlie. “Baby?” I said worriedly, trying to get him to talk to me.
“I am NOT a BABY; I am an ADULT. How DARE that monster threaten my career, MY business,” I heard him say in rage. I wanted to say something but before I got a word out Charlie continued, “I thought that this. . .Mommy/little thing was just for us, I don’t understand why your mother is inserting herself into our personal lives.” I glanced back and saw Charlie struggling against his seat harness, trying to unbuckle himself.
“Charlie, baby. . .” I tried to say before Charlie cut me off.
“I’m not. . .” Charlie said with a grunt, “A . . . Baby!” Worried he was going to actually get out, I looked back and saw he was already halfway out of his seat.
“Charlie Conor Finlay, you undo that last buckle and so help me I will pull this car over,” I said, letting my temper get the best of me. I took a breath to calm myself down and make sure I was still driving safely. I heard one click and I quickly looked back, about to scold Charlie again, but I saw him with his arms back in his harness and his chest buckle re-secured. Charlie’s expression was painted not only on his face but his whole body. I could see the rage and anger boiling out, but there was also sadness and a lot of frustration.
“I got to go to the bathroom,” I heard Charlie say, trying to keep his voice calm to hide his emotions.
“Charlie, I know you’re upset. . .” I started to say.
“No Jennifer, I am pissed. Both literally and emotionally. I am twenty-five years old, wearing a onesie and diaper under my clothes, strapped in a car seat like a toddler, and being told to behave like I am some fussy brat,” Charlie said with as much frustration as anger.
“That is two strikes right there Charlie, please don’t earn your third. I know you are upset and angry, but that does not mean you have to cuss and start breaking the rules. I am aware of your age, but you are still MY precious little boy, I will do everything in my power to make sure nothing happens to you or what’s yours,” I said calmly, trying to calm him down.
“I’m sorry Mommy, I did not mean to yell,” I barely heard him say. Looking back, I saw him looking down with his hand folded in his lap and a tear in his eyes.
“I forgive you,” I said softly. “And if you got to potty just go in your diaper, it’s not good to hold it for a long time, like I’m sure you have been.”
After hearing a small sniffle, I heard Charlie say, “Does your mom really see me as some helpless little boy?”
“In a nutshell, yes,” I said, trying to explain my mother’s motives. “My mom may be a lawyer, but she is very versed in the BDSM scene, she finds a lot of clients that will pay big money to keep a lot of stuff hush-hush. Knowing that, when she got wind that you and I were getting into a Mommy Dom/little boy relationship she wanted in and started to take it a little too seriously. She knows I will never have kids of my own and she desperately wants to be a grandmother.”
“That makes sense… I think. But why me? Why not just bug Alice to settle down,” I heard Charlie say.
“Well, you came in the picture first, but as far as Alice, you and I both know that she is far from interested in having kids. She is too wrapped up in her career. The only reason Alice wants to help with you is because she likes you and you are her business partner. She came and got you while I was arguing with Mom on her own accord,” I responded, as I pulled into our neighborhood.
“Finally, almost home,” I heard Charlie say desperately as if the car seat was torturing him. A few moments later he had another worrisome question. “And what of your Father, would he do something to my company if I don’t play ‘baby’?”
“Daddy loves you and sees you for who you are, a man trying to live his best life with his wife and in pursuit of his dreams. He will keep Mom in check but, just like you, has his own company to run and will not always be there,” I told Charlie as I pulled into our driveway. I put the transmission in park, shut the engine off, and undue my seatbelt. The overhead light came on and I opened my door, but before I got out, I looked over at Charlie, trying to sit still and wait to be let out. “Mom does care, she just wants to make sure I am being a good Mommy,” I tell him with a smile before getting out.
When I got Charlie’s door open, he practically was vibrating, itching to just get out of his little seat, too bad he did not like it because he did look adorable in it. “Are you done being fussy?” I asked him in a serious tone. Charlie froze for a moment and his eyes got big.
“Yes Mommy, I will be good, please can I get out,” he said apologetically. I could tell that what happened tonight was still in his head.
I gave him a big smile, undid his harness, and watched him sit there for a moment, almost in disbelief. “You need help baby?” I asked, holding my hand out for him to grab. After getting Charlie out, I got his diaper bag and my purse out of the front seat and then locked the SUV. I saw Charlie was only halfway to the door, waiting for me to catch up, “I’m coming honey.”
I open the door, allowing Charlie to get in first. “Let’s get some Pajamas on, ok sweetie,” I tell Charlie as we slip our shoes off. I put my hand on Charlie’s back gently pushing him to go up the stairs first. “No-no baby, nursery, I need to change your diaper, plus, I have your jammies in there,” I say, correcting the direction he was walking when he got to the top of the stairs. I softly shut the baby gate behind me as I follow Charlie into the nursery, flipping the lights on.
Charlie started to unbutton his shirt still with a long face, “Let me help you, honey,” I said bending down and helping him with his trousers while he worked on his shirt. After I got his pants and shirt off, leaving him only in his diaper and onesie, he started to turn to the changing table. “Hold on,” I instructed softly, grabbing him before he ran off so I could take the onesie off as well. With a swift tug up, his onesie slips over his head and is tossed into the hamper with the rest of the clothes.
I lifted Charlie and laid him on the changing table, for only seeing this room just recently, he seemed not as phased as I thought he would. I just stood there admiring my little Charlie, no one else’s, his hands were resting on his tummy while he was looking at all the glowing stars on the ceiling. I knew that today was going to be hard, but I did not realize how much of a toll it was going to have on Charlie. After a moment he caught me staring, I could only smile at how cute he was. I caressed his face to try and soothe his pent-up emotions before I turned my attention to the task at hand and started to undo his diaper, “Baby, you filled this sucker up, you were not this wet when we left,” I said surprised.
“I told you that I had to potty, Mommy,” Charlie said flatly in reply to my statement.
“Yes, you did, and it looks like my baby did a good job using his diapers,” I praised smiling down at him, trying to get him to smile again. “Maybe we didn’t need to get those pull-ups after all,” I said teasingly.
“But mommy, you said I could…” he started to say, worried I was going back on our decision.
“Clam down, baby, I am just teasing,” I reassured him, “However, I think I left them in the back seat of the SUV.” I made quick work on the diaper change, making sure to get him clean and feeling fresh with a light sprinkle of baby powder. After the new diaper is taped up, I give it a little play full pat, “All done, baby, you are once again all clean and dry.” I went over to his chest of drawers to pull out a particular pajama set, leaving him to hop down himself. After a little bit of rummaging, I finally found the jammies I was looking for. “Come here, sweetie,” I said getting the shirt opened so I could slip it over his head.
“I can do it, Mommy, Please,” he said with a furrowed brow.
Looking down at him I could only smile, “Ok, you get your jammies on while I go get mine on,” I said as I handed him his clothes. I left him in his nursery alone while I made my way to our bedroom. He did look adorable standing there in just his diaper, his nursery suited him well. “Let’s see how long he stays in there before he comes searching for me,” I whisper to myself, taking my dress off. As I was pulling out my pajamas for the night, I got an idea to help give him confidence in not only his diapers but also the decision of being little, on his terms. I quickly put on a soft tank top and a pair of shorts. Just as I had pulled my shorts up, I heard Charlie holler from the top of the stairs.
“Mommy why is it locked,” Charlie said, sounding confused and frustrated.
“Oh, I am sorry honey, I closed it when I came up behind you,” I told him as I moved to the bathroom. “Go explore your nursery baby, I put some things in there for you to play with. I will be done in a minute; I am just taking my make-up off.” I look in the mirror, staring at the reflection as I try and listen to Charlie’s footsteps and see if he listens. After a moment of listening, I was confident that he did as he was told and went to play in his nursery, so I started my nightly routine. I cleaned and cleansed my face, put my hair in a loose braid for bed, and used the bathroom myself before sneaking out of the room and tiptoeing to the nursery, and just peeking inside to try and figure out what Charlie was doing.
I don’t know why I felt so proud of Charlie, seeing him dressed in his cute white and blue short-sleeve pajama shirt and matching shorts, I picked them out because they had an airplane on the chest of the shirt and lots of planes on his little shorts. Charlie was over in the corner, digging through the toy box believe it or not, currently inspecting a stuffed squid plushie I randomly found at the store one day. A smile swept across my face, I knew what would help melt his stress from the day away. I silently made my way over to the stairs, ever so carefully, opened it without a noise, and sneaked down the stairs.
I quickly made my way to the kitchen and pulled out his bottle to fill it up with a little drink for Charlie. I did my best to warm some milk and honey before putting it into Charlie’s bottle, but before I could head back up, I went back into the office to grab Charlie’s bunny, Lady Frankie. I have no idea why he chose an absurdly long name for his bunny, but it did bring a smile to my heart to finally see him enjoy it. With light feet, I sneak back up the stairs to surprise my baby.
Peek around the nursery door frame, looking for Charlie, I spot him in the cushy rocking chair, curled up in a ball holding the darn squid plushie, at least he does not look distressed anymore. I try not to startle him as I lightly walk closer, yup, the little guy is out cold. I guess he was more tired than I thought. But why the rocking chair, I know he could have got in the crib by himself, it was a lot more comfortable than sleeping in a chair. Oh well, I guess that would just be wishful thinking, I guess. “Charlie, honey,” I say as I lightly touch him.
“I not sleeping Mommy,” Charlie said groggily with his eyes very much closed.
“You want to go night-night, or you want a treat,” I ask him softly, still unsure if he is awake as he says he is.
I almost thought that he was asleep again, but I soon heard a very soft, “Can I have a cookie.” Of course, the boy wants cookies this late at night. Now let’s see if he will get up to go get one.
“Baby, you want me to hold you, or you want to get up and walk?” I asked my curled-up baby husband. I set his bottle and bunny on the floor next to the rocking chair and moved to pick up Charlie, who despite our small conversation still had not moved an inch. I put my arms under him so I could just keep him curled up and cradled. Once he was up, I slowly spun around and sat down in the same rocker I found him in, setting him in my lap.
“Mommy, cookies please” I heard him whisper as he leaned into me.
“Shh, baby,” I say, trying to keep him calm, “Let me get it really quick.” I bend down carefully and reach for the bottle, once I feel it in my hand, I pick it up, lean back in the rocking chair, and change the grip I have on the bottle. “Baby, I got your cookie, open up,” I tell him softly, trying to get him to open his mouth. It amazes me how well he sleeps when he is sleeping, only if I can get his sleep duration to last longer than it does. After growing impatient, I rub the nipple of the bottle on his lips, “Open up baby.” That must have done the trick, Charlie’s eyes open slightly, and his expression goes from a blank sleepy look to a confused one as he clutched his stuffed squid in comfort.
“Mommy?” Charlie asked confused.
I could only giggle, “Baby, I think you fell asleep waiting for me.” Charlie did start to wiggle and get up but there was no need for that now, “Shh, be still sweetie, you’re tired,” I said trying to calm him down.
“I don’t want to sleep in here,” Charlie said pouting.
“Shh, here drink this,” I said as I eased the bottle in his mouth. “You sure you don’t want to sleep in the crib?” I asked, curious to see his reaction. Charlie’s eyes opened and started to squirm. “Settle down, I was only teasing, I am sorry,” I tell him adjusting the bottle as he calms down. We sat there for a long while, he drank the bottle slowly as he stared off into space. He finally actually fell asleep leaving a quarter of the milk un-drank.
I let about fifteen minutes pass, just rocking there letting him sleep in my lap. Despite what happened this afternoon, and his tantrum on the ride home, today I would call it a win. His nursery has successfully helped him put the day’s stress behind him as he found comfort in his little space, unfortunately, I don’t think he would admit it. For as much as Charlie says he does not have a little side, he sure has fallen hard for this lifestyle, at least subconsciously. It’s hard to watch him try so hard to be big and bad. However, I will need to make sure my mother minds her manners and knows what my business is and not hers. She keeps going the way she did tonight, I will not be able to get Charlie to go to dinner on Sunday, no matter how much I push.
Eventually, I was able to put my sleeping Charlie in our bed and tuck him in with his bunny, squid, and a binky between his lips. I only left him there alone for a little bit to get the house straight and ready for a new day of reverse potty training. and everything off, shut, and locked before making my way to bed myself. Even if I was able to get Charlie in the crib, I don’t think I could sleep without him. I closed my eyes, pulled Charlie close, and drifted off.
The stress of the day weighed on me as I did not sleep that well, however, my night did start with pleasant dreams until I noticed Charlie squirming early in the morning as he always does. I tried to snuggle him more but like always my baby wanted up. With Charlie no longer in my arms reach, I was left sleeping alone with my dreams slowly drifting from happiness and light to filled sorrow and darkness. After a while, I was ejected from my sleep with fright, sweating from my dream-turned-nightmare. I quickly looked around; Charlie was nowhere in sight, though I was sure he was just downstairs as he normally is. He did seem to leave the squid in the bed but his bunny, Lady Frankie, was nowhere in sight. Did he take Lady Frankie with him? And what did he do with his binky? After a quick trip to the bathroom to relieve myself and wash the sweat off my face, I started for the door of the bedroom to go in search of my little Charlie.
Once I stepped foot in the hallway, I noticed that the baby gate door was open, and Charlie was most likely downstairs. I peeked inside the nursery just out of curiosity to see if he even tried to go play. . . nope, it was still as it was before bed. I started to walk downstairs with the nightmare still weighing on me, I needed to see Charlie. I need to see if he is alright and make sure he is not still upset. Once I walked through the living room to the kitchen, I could see my Charlie sitting on the island drinking coffee, he even had Lady Frankie propped up next to him. My heart melted at the sight; Charlie finally had his normal smile on his face. To be honest it looked like he was just chilling and having a conversation with Lady Frankie. Hopefully, Adam does not get jealous of Charlie’s new friend. I simply just walked over and hugged him from behind, instantly the weight of the nightmare was gone. “Good morning my little prince,” I told him as my stress melted away.
“You ok, Mommy? Did you have another nightmare?” I hear Charlie say with a hint of worry in his voice as he tries to reach back and hug me back.
With a quick peck on his cheek, I move over to the other side of the island and pull a clean cup from the cabinet above. “I did, you fell asleep before we could finish talking last night,” I asked in response as I poured the leftover coffee into my mug. As I went to turn back around to look at Charlie, I found him wearing a sympathetic look on his face.
“I mean I am still upset at . . . Grammy” he started to say, hesitating at my mother’s new title. “I am not going to let her sabotage Alice and I’s work.” Charlie must have noticed my odd look as he was talking, trying to figure out how he got a mug from the cabinet when I knew he had not found his stool yet. He quickly pointed to the chairs at the table and said, “I used the chair, I swear I did not climb on the counter.”
I just smiled and shook my head, “Of course you didn’t, my sweet little boy. But I will be talking to my mother, she and I are not done talking about you, I promise to make sure she stays in line and knows her place.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mommy” I hear Charlie say confidently as I take a drink of my coffee. “I may be upset but I am calm and ready to face this new challenge together.”
The confidence he had made me realize the idea that I had for him, “No need baby, you let Mommy take care of mean old Grammy” With a small pause to shift subjects I continued to happily tell Charlie of his new training, “I want you to just be happy and focus on your reverse potty training.” I took another sip of coffee, keeping my excited emotions hidden so I could watch Charlie think about what I just told him.
“What is reverse potty training?” Charlie asked confused.
I smiled and excitedly elaborated, “Well I have been thinking about how we are going to incorporate your pull-ups, I am going to start fresh and reverse the normal potty-training toddlers go through and reverse it. The first part is going to be hard and will only be done at home, but I think it will help set the mood and feeling you have with your diapers.”
I watched Charlie’s gears start turning in his head, “Like completely start over? No more diapers?”
“Other than for bedtime for obvious reasons, yes,” I said with a smile. “Wait here for a moment,” I instructed before setting my coffee down and heading to the home office. As I stepped in I grabbed the reverse potty training chart I made from leftover poster board from a recent project Charlie did for work. This was going to be amazing; it was going to allow Charlie to go his speed and not be forced into this. I walked back over to the kitchen to present Charlie with his new road map to success, “I made this last night when you were sleeping, it’s a chart to track your progress.”
Charlie still looked bewildered, “A reverse potty-training chart?” I nodded, confirming that he was indeed correct. “Yay, stickers,” he said with false joy.
“Stickers to track your progress, yes, and quit judging so fast. I am trying to take it slow for your sake,” I said, trying to keep his mind open to my idea. “Like I said, we are starting from the beginning, you are going to get a limited pair of undies and start from the top. The first step is going to be the hardest, I want you to first work on having day accidents.”
As expected, Charlie’s eyes went wide, “What? Do you want me to purposely pee my pants? How is that going to help?” I could see the worry in his eyes.
“Take a breath and let me explain,” I said trying to calm him down. “You are going to be allowed to use the big boy potty. . . but with one simple rule, you need to get me to help you and take you.” I let that set on him a moment before continuing, “I want you to learn to relax and be ok at wetting yourself. For the past couple of days you have been holding your bladder till it nearly explodes before you wet your diaper, you need to learn to relax and just let it flow. This first step will mostly be mental, once you are confident enough to pee your pants we will go to the next step, pull-ups.” I went to put Charlie’s new chart on the side of the refrigerator where it is easily seen by both of us. “Every time you ask me to use the potty I will take you, but you will earn a sad face on your chart. But when you have an accident in your pants you will get a gold star.”
I watched Charlie hop down from the tall stool and study the chart. “So you are going to let me use the toilet?”
“With permission yes,” I repeated and pointed to the chart. “This row you get sad faces when you say you need to potty, the next row you get sad faces for using the potty.”
“That doesn’t make sense, if I ask to use the potty, won’t I use it too?” Charlie asked in confusion.
With a gentle smile, I went to explain, “Toddlers don’t always make it to the potty when they go tell their mommy.”
Charlie’s eyebrows furrowed, “So I get sad faces for simply saying I need to potty?”
“Yes baby,” I said simply, “When you can pee your pants and not tell me we will graduate to pull-ups. During this stage, you will get to continue practicing going and not saying anything. I don’t want you to worry about your pull-ups or diapers, I want you to let me worry about it. And don’t worry I will be checking you like any good mommy would, while you are in undies, I will check less often but pull-up will check more often and then eventually you will graduate to diapers.” I directed his attention to the last three steps, you get gold stars on the last three, these are what you want to fill up. You got wet when you were out, you did not use the potty all day, and you did not ask for the potty all day. The more gold stars you get the more you get to move to the next step.”
“I don’t want to pee my pants, Mommy,” Charlie said with a sad face.
“Then you don’t have to baby, you just tell me you got to go potty, and I will help you use the big scary potty, ok?” I told him sweetly. “I want this to be on your pace, however, I would like to have you in pull-ups before you go back to work.” Charlie still had a sad face, but I wanted this to be his decision. “Grab Lady Frankie, sweetie, I need to get my big boy back in his undies,” I said softly and led him upstairs. “No-no honey, not the nursery, that is for little boys. Go to our room, I will take your diaper off there and you can take a quick shower, ok? I will have your big boy undies ready for you when you are out ok?” I hope he knows this is going to be as hard for me as it is for him, we just need to get over the first hurdle.
The End of Descent into Diapers – Chapter Fourteen.
If you want to read more stories about ABDL boys you can find a list here: Diaper Boys – Index