An Old Problem – Chapter Nineteen
I woke up to find Jenny standing over me and asking if I was OK. I was just emerging from a deep dream where mum and I were sat on a bench looking out to sea with a storm noisily crashing around us. Incredibly, we were both sat crossed-legged because we thought if our feet didn’t touch the ground then the lightning couldn’t strike us. We were also cowered under a large colourful golfing umbrella with a metal spike… but that seemed quite normal.
I felt my shoulder being shaken.
“Ant, Ant, are you OK?” Jen sounded alarmed and concerned.
“Mmm… errr, whattt, ummm….”
“You’re making a lot of noise… more than usual anyway.”
It took me a few seconds to determine I was no longer in my dream where I was huddled up close to mum and crying because I was scared of the thunder.
“Oh, erm, sorry Jen, I, er, er…”
“You sounded really frightened. I’ve never heard you making such…”
I wasn’t actually crying like I was in the dream but could feel my heart racing so knew I was troubled about something.
“I was in the middle of a storm. I, errruuuummm…”
It was taking me a little while to get myself under control but at least now I was awake Jen didn’t look so panicked. However, I still wasn’t sure what was going on except I could feel my nappy was sodden but that wasn’t unusual first thing in the morning. It hadn’t occurred to me that the main light was on and it was still night. I looked at the bedside clock, the clear blue numbers indicated it was still only 2.13, for some reason that particular time made me shiver and I felt another spurt of pee enter my soaked padding.
I saw Jen shrug her shoulders waiting for me to say something and as I became more aware of my circumstances. “What type of noise?”
“I don’t know… I was just coming back from the loo and you… well… it just seemed you were really scared of something. Not like the usual noises you make,” she added with a quick smile.
“I don’t make noises.” I said indignantly.
“Yer, sure, Mr Silent Sleeper you ain’t.” She said sarcastically and toddled back to her own room.
She left me alone and after a couple of minutes I threw back the sheet and checked in case I’d leaked. As usual, all was safely contained but I didn’t want to return to sleep knowing I had a sopping wet nappy so waddled to the dresser and took out some wipes. The new package of Dino disposables lay open by the side of the wardrobe.
I decided wipes wouldn’t be enough so grabbed one of my wonderful, cheery disposables and headed to the bathroom. I turned on the main light to checked myself. The plastic pants were ok but the white thick fabric underneath was saturated. It’s strange that since mum had bought these extra thick night time nappies (as she’d called them) I had used them to their fullest and became quite grateful they could take the excess liquid I seemed to produce. However, the pins were fiddly so no wonder I was always pleased when someone else did my change. Despite this drawback, I managed and threw the soaked thing into the laundry basket (the one reserved only for my stuff) and sponged myself down with warm water instead of the cold wet-wipes mum often used.
#
Once cleaned up properly, I applied lotion and powder, slipped into a nice thick Dinosaur nappy and felt pretty good that at least for the rest of the night I’d be dry. I decided that a pair of clear vinyl pants should then be enough to keep me safe for what remained of the night.
As I waddled back mum was standing on the landing in her nightie obviously awaken by my various noises.
“Is everything alright Anthony?” Mum looked tired and drawn but perhaps anyone would at two-thirty in the morning.
“Fine mum,” I forced a smile, “just needed a change.”
She gave a small smile as she checked out my cheerful disposable, perhaps knowing how much I enjoyed wearing them.
“Night then love… but I do have something I need to chat to you about in the morning.”
“Do you want to talk now?”
“No sweetie it can wait. You get back to sleep and we’ll chat later.”
I shrugged. “OK, night mum.” I watched mum return to her and dad’s room before I waddled back to my own. The soft rustling that accompanied each movement made me smile.
Back in my bedroom I slipped effortlessly under the covers, the new disposable giving me a pleasant crinkle as I settled down. I ran my hand over the soft but welcoming fabric completely forgetting the need for plastic pants. I quickly fell asleep stroking the front, enjoying the impressive bulge and wondering what mum needed to chat about.
My dream was of me in exactly the same place as I was before Jen woke me up, only this time I was sat on a bench on my own. I was wearing just the Dino disposable because the weather was hot and the people as they passed nodded and smiled and I felt at peace with the world. The thing was I knew I wasn’t eighteen any more.
Eventually, I joined in with a group of small kids who were playing down on the beach, the beach me and mum had visited, and set about building sandcastles. Judging by the remarks and looks I was getting, jovial though they were, I knew I was only a toddler to their eyes… but it didn’t worry me. I giggled and pulled at the sand to cover my legs and just left the dinosaurs on display because we’d made a game… it made no sense but these cartoon creatures somehow played an important part.
We were all having a fantastic time – shouting, screeching and laughing. It was fun.
#
It was just after nine when I woke up. Mum had come into my bedroom and told me that breakfast would be on the table in ten minutes. With the smell of bacon already wafting up from the kitchen she knew I would never miss a Saturday morning fry-up.
I flipped my legs from under the cover and was happy to see I was still dry, those little dinosaurs still cheerily chasing each other around the bulging fabric. Deciding to wear them for the rest of the day (or until they were too soggy) I grabbed a pair of clear vinyl pants off the dresser and pulled them up, followed by a pair of white polyester gym shorts and headed downstairs.
Dad and Jenny were already dressed both looked like they had made arrangements for a trip out somewhere and wondered if I’d missed some important plans.
“Going anywhere nice?” I asked as I took my seat next to Jen.
Mum was plating up the bacon and eggs. I noticed that she’d also got scrambled egg on toast for Jen, because she kept an eye on her youthful, but fast maturing figure.
“Dad’s got a meeting in Manchester later this morning so I’ve cadged a lift for me and Claire to go over and do a bit of shopping.”
“Is Claire coming here?” I liked Claire she was very funny and the only one of Jenny’s friends I could actually speak to without feeling I was being judged. Not that her other friends said much, it was more a feeling and the odd surreptitious look that made me uncomfortable around most of them.
“No, we’re picking her up on the way… but we’ll get the train back as dad doesn’t know what time he’ll finish.”
Mum slid the plates in front of us all. “You be careful young lady and make sure you’ve got your phone… I want regular texts please.”
“Yes mum.” Like all teenagers she was in despair over the attention parents had over her movements.
“Yes well, let me know what train you’re on…”
“Yes mum,” she shrugged in annoyance but really knew mum was looking out for her and wasn’t really angry.
“That goes for you as well,” she nodded towards dad. “Let me know when we can expect you back.”
“Yes mum,” Dad did a comic impression of Jen and we all laughed.
“That just leaves me and you sweetie, have you got any plans?”
“No not really. I messaged Peter last night and he said he might come over this afternoon but wasn’t sure.”
The rest of the meal past with similar inconsequential chat.
#
When they’d left and it was just me and mum I could tell something was disturbing her because of the way she looked at me. Finally, as she finished washing up and I dried the dishes she asked me to sit down as she had something to talk to me about.
“Last night Laura Ames called.”
I nodded but said nothing.
“She said she’d been reviewing your case from when she first saw you at seven… and… compared them with what she knew now.”
I could see mum was getting a bit uncomfortable.
“She didn’t accuse you of being the reason I wet did she because that’s…”
“No, no, erm, nothing like that… she, er, um, wants to do some tests.”
“What kind of tests?” I asked suspiciously.
Those stupid ink-blot cards immediately sprung to mind, which I’d always thought were stupid and not very scientific way of gauging people’s innermost thoughts.
Mum was reticent to say anything further but obviously, now she’d started the conversation couldn’t leave it there.
“She wants to test the functions of your brain… she wants to give it a scan.”
I was a bit slow on the uptake. “What do you mean… a scan?”
“I think she thinks there is more than just a psychological reason for your problem.” Mum looked pained at saying this.
Not only that but it all sounded serious and a cold shiver ran down my back, immediately followed by a hot flush into the disposable.
#
I sat slightly numb (and wet) as mum tried to placate my worries.
“She said it might be some kind of hormonal imbalance… or something…”
“But she wants to wire me up?” I asked incredulously.
“I think it’s more about ruling certain things out rather than anything else… and…”
I didn’t like the sound of that AND.
“… there’s something else about when you were a toddler and we were on holiday in France all those years ago…”
Mum looked uneasy… and why had she changed the subject?
“You mean when I got scared of the thunder storm.” I knew what she meant but certain aspects of that trip were forgotten, well by me at least.
“Yes love…” she paused before continuing. “This is awkward but… with the storm the whole thing was pretty scary for you but we eventually managed to get you off to sleep and we thought that was all fine.”
She came and sat down beside me and held my hand.
“With you asking about it, and Laura mentioning it, I’ve been forced to relive something else that happened that night that I really hadn’t given much thought to for all these years… and now I feel so guilty for not knowing…”
I could see mum was struggling with an explanation of some kind but I didn’t want to interrupt even though my stomach was in knots wondering what this huge ‘guilty thing’ was.
“With the storm came a great deal of rain and because we were camped near the river, the management of the campsite warned us that the levels could rise considerably and advised everyone nearby to move to higher ground.”
She looked at me still with that pained expression on her face.
“We’d already packed quite a bit of our equipment in the car so dad thought we might as well pack everything and, with the prospect of flooding, get away from that valley and start the journey home early.”
#
“Mum, what’s the problem, why are you still feeling guilty over something that happened…” I mentally counted backwards, “fifteen years ago?”
“Well, as I said, you were fast asleep and I was so grateful you didn’t have to worry about all the panic going on around us because folk started evacuating the area… and moving and such… we were just happy you were out for the count.”
“Mum, just tell me… I…” I was annoyed because I suddenly felt my bum hole offer no resistance to a silent fart and the threat of worse but I didn’t want her to not finish her story.
“I was carrying you to the car, to fasten you into your booster seat and have you safely ensconced in the dry and out of the way so we could finish the packing. When, as I grabbed the handle, a huge gust of wind caught hold and blew it wide open. It hit me still carrying you, and sent me for six.”
I looked to her to wonder why this was such a catastrophe. I saw her unconsciously rubbing her arm.
“I got quite a whack and had a bruised arm for ages but I thought my body had protected you because you slept right through it.”
“So?”
“Well sweetheart, you slept all the way from the campsite to Calais…” I looked at her wondering what she was insinuating. “We were just grateful you were sleeping even if it was for such a long time. We reasoned that your fear of the storm had taken it out of you and…”
“Mum, do you think I was injured?”
She nodded guiltily. “Yes sweetheart. We were young and I didn’t know any better but I fear you may well have also been hit by that flying door and I hadn’t noticed.”
She had tears in her eyes now and I felt my nappy rapidly filling with extra pee and poop… I was shaking and feeling like a three year old because I didn’t know what to say or do.
“Last night I discussed the possibilities with your father, who knew nothing about any of that other than I got a bruise from somewhere. Because you were asleep for so long he suggested there was a chance you might have actually have been concussed or something so to call Laura back and get her professional opinion. I did and she suggested… a full scan.”
I burst in to tears.
“Oh sweetie, don’t be scared it’s not painful it’s…” She wasn’t sure what it was but anyway, I wasn’t listening. All I was aware of was the fact I felt helpless because of the full disposable that clung to my groin. It was like I was three all over again and needed someone to come and change me. My anxiety level maxed out and I could hear a mewling sound and noticed my thumb in my mouth.
#
It only lasted a few seconds but that feeling of being totally helpless had to have been one of the strangest experiences I’d ever had… and I’d been having a few of them recently. Even though sitting down I could feel the weight and mess splurging around. Mum was trying to calm my sudden dissolve into tears though she must have thought the idea of having a scan was the reason. I don’t think it was because for a brief moment my mind had gone blank and a pain had shot through my head like I’d never experienced before.
I sat with mum for a few minutes, whilst she tried her best to reassure me once again that all was well and I had nothing to fear because mummy was here. I was grateful to her hand that slowly stroked my hair and hugged me at the same time.
“OK love, I think we’d better get you into something…”
“Sorry mum, I don’t know what happened.” I softly spoke into her bosom where my head was nestling.
“Not to worry love, it’s a strange time and I fear I might have been…”
Again she didn’t finish her sentence but she held my hand and guided me back up to my room. The mess in my nappy reminding me with each step how thankful I was to have been wearing such good protection.
#
I came back from the shower clean and refreshed and feeling a lot better. I’d had time to think about the proposed neurological tests and decided, after what mum had revealed, it might be better than the psyche evaluation. Of course mum was waiting for me as I continued to towel dry my hair but for the first time in ages she hadn’t got anything laid out and ready.
“Anthony love, erm, you’ve had quite a lot to take in and I’m wondering if you’d prefer to wear something, ummm, different today. Something less, erm, protective…. you know… something… like you wore when we went to the coast.”
I hadn’t clocked that was why she was standing by the dresser with the underwear drawer open. She fished in and produced a pair of white briefs and one of the pairs of microfiber trunks.
“Maybe one of these?” She offered.
I could see, for the first time, mum was feeling guilty about putting me in nappies. She was desperate to make some kind of amends and thought this small gesture was perhaps the start.
She brought both pairs of pants over to me and offered me the choice.
“Mum, it’s not your fault that I wet and certainly not your fault that I messed my…”
“But sweetie, how do we know?” I mean, I might have thought I was doing it for your own good but in fact, it was easier because you’ve never once reacted against it.”
“Exactly mum, you know it has never bothered me… well… I don’t remember it ever having done… but the point is… I feel safer knowing I’m well covered and these…” I said offering up my white briefs, “offer no security at all.”
Mum shrugged but I could tell she wasn’t happy. I don’t think it was with me but she sighed as I went and pulled a large terry cotton nappy (with the extra absorbent gusset), and said I didn’t want to fight her but I needed this to feel secure.
She sighed but smiled and said that if I was sure.
“Let’s get it on you then as we can all live without you parading around with no clothes on.”
Strange that apart from a towel loosely draped around my shoulders I’d not realised I was completely naked throughout our conversation.
It hadn’t bothered either of us because I was used to mum seeing me this way and ready to get me nicely fastened tightly in to my welcoming padding.
The nappy was thick and for the briefest of moments the towel I’d been dressed in as a three year-old flashed into my head followed by that awful pain.
“Uuurrggg,” I shuddered, blacked out and fell to the floor.
The End of An Old Problem – Chapter Nineteen.
If you want to read more stories about ABDL boys you can find a list here: Diaper Boys – Index
The story originally came from: https://www.dailydiapers.com/content/stories.html